Wednesday, January 23, 2019

Reflections on BURNOUT!

I have spent the first part of this school year focused and exhausted. I've been focused on trying to teach my students and get them farther than before. Also focused on figuring out the best way to teach math since we departmentalized this year. What I have done in past years doesn't always work or is as effective especially with the time frame and the number of students I see now. I'm constantly reevaluating and changing my curriculum along with my lesson plans. It's exhausting. I love what I do. I got into this profession because of how important I find this job. I want to show students learning can be fun, show them that they matter, and shape students who are better, more openminded people. Over the last few years, I have started to wear thin. What used to bring me joy is exhausting me more and more. I have gotten to a place where I do want to be better and help my students, but I also need to find time for me. I have given countless hours to school activities, planning events, committees, presenting, edu chats, and so much more. Now I need to slow down, take a step back, and focus on what matters to me.

As educators, there is a balance that we have to work towards. The balance between what we give to students and what we give to ourselves. In the age of social media, I feel like this makes it harder. I constantly see things that I want to do with my students or want to create for my classroom. I never feel like I am content with my class. I'm constantly working to do and create more. There is a part of me that is like, "That's a good thing Megan! Reflection is good and you should always be innovating and updating." Yet, there is a part of me that is shouting, "BREATH! Slow down, you can't do it all and you need time for you too!" I watch amazing teachers daily who have mastered the art of being powerful educators and masterful parents at the same time. I'm getting to a part in my life where I know I want a family and I know I will have to master the balancing act in order to make it all work. I know I'm not the only one feeling this way, but I also realize in the age of social media we post the successes and not the lows. So here is my low: Burnout is real and I might be struggling with it.

I have really been struggling with this the last year or so. As we start in 2019 I wanted to set some goals for myself in order to be better. So here are my resolutions to grow as a person this year while still balancing my career.

  1. I want to read 9 books this year because I do love reading, but I never make time for it anymore. 
    I love Once Upon A Book Club!
  2. I want to workout 2-3 times a week because it does make me feel good and proud. 
    All runs should end with taking your dog down a slide.
  3. I want to post on my blog once a month because I do love to share, but the pressure of posting weekly or biweekly was too much for me. 
    I loved being able to blog about my experienes and ideas
  4. I want to spend more time connecting with family and friends especially outside of the school setting. 
    My fellow educators and friends at our college reunion.
  5. I want to create one new creative lesson for my classroom that I can add to my toolkit. 
    I loved my rockstar day and I hope to make it even better!
  6. I want to plan more trips and take on more adventures. 
    The Bucket List Family is inspiring.

I write all this to say its ok. I know that these feelings are not only personal to me. I want those who connect to these feelings to know that you will be ok. With the title of teacher comes great responsibility and sometimes that responsibility feels like that of a superhero. We feel like we should be fighting every battle, creating new and unique moments, and be present at every single event when truth be told we are allowed to be human. We are allowed to take moments to ourselves, say no, and relax. I will never stop innovating, sharing, and creating but I will be working on myself too. I want to be a healthier, stronger person and sometimes that means breathing the fresh air. Never let your job define you, but instead, let your inner passion shine through your job. It's ok to admit that feeling of burnout, but it's not ok to not do anything about it. You are amazing and you matter so take care of yourself and don't feel bad about it!

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